Welcome to Rainbow Snippets weekend!

The guys take Carl to task for not dating and using his son as an excuse in “The Hippie Whisperer“…

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“What are you afraid of, C?” Sam asked. “If I were gay, I’d screw you in a hot minute. You’re an attractive, eligible bachelor with a lot to offer. Though, you might want to do something about that hair, man. And the Hawaiian shirts.”

My friends were fashion consultants now? And what the hell was wrong with my hair?

“I think he needs a boy toy, someone to shock him out of his comfort zone,” Rod said.

“Chester is almost twenty,” Larry interjected. “I’m sure he’s had more sex in the past two years than you’ve had since your divorce. And that was fifteen years ago. You’ve done a great job with the kid. Now it’s your turn.”

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Welcome to Rainbow Snippets weekend!

Carl [first person] ponders getting old in “The Hippie Whisperer“… Longer than six sentences, my apologies. 😀

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“I have a question,” I declared.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Larry teased.

I ignored the manly titters around me. “Are we old?”

“Bite your tongue, traitor!” Rod said, in mock horror.

“I’d prefer to say we’re in our prime and the fun has just begun,” Larry added.

“Have you been talking to the wicked witch in the mirror again?” asked Sam.

“Twice today someone said I was old. Is there a rule that says once you’re over forty, you’re decrepit?” I asked.

“As long as you don’t think that way, it’s not an issue,” Larry said.

“I never gave it much thought myself,” Rod added.

“Well, I certainly don’t feel old. I exercise, work hard, take care of my son. I’m vital, active, and relevant.”

“Sounds like an ad for Metamucil.” Larry winked at me.

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More from Carl and the guys in “The Hippie Whisperer“…

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“Quit your bellyaching and make your play,” I goaded.

Rod moved three spaces and made it to the dining room. “I think Colonel Mustard did it, in the dining room, with the knife,” he confidently proposed.

“Not with the knife,” Sam, our resident physics expert said as he showed us his card.

“Sorry to say, guys, but Mrs. White did it, with the candlestick in the ballroom.” I opened the envelope and proved my hypothesis. Groans greeted my pronouncement.

“She’s such a hussy, that Mrs. White,” Rod said as he put the game away.

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Carl is hanging out with the guys in “The Hippie Whisperer“…

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“Chester coming home for the summer?” Larry, the psychology professor asked as he tried to convince the rest of us that Mrs. Peacock did it, in the kitchen, with the knife.

“Sorry, not Mrs. Peacock,” I said with unmitigated glee as I showed him my card. Larry’s shoulders drooped. “And, to answer your question, yes, he’ll be here tomorrow. Passed all his exams. Claims he was bored the entire time.”

“I wish my students were like that.” This from Rod, head of the history department. “They act like the world is coming to an end when I give them a multiple choice test. I mean, the fucking answers are all there. Just pick one!”

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Carl finishes up the phone call with his son in “The Hippie Whisperer“… Carl is in the first person.

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“You’re the second person today to call me old.”

“Struck a nerve, did it?” said the brat. “Are the guys coming over tonight, as usual?”

The “guys” were three faculty members at Baden who were about my age. We hung out together most Friday nights at my house, playing as many games—board games or otherwise—as we could stand and getting drunk in order to forget the fact that we didn’t get laid regularly, whether gay or straight. At least, that was my assumption. They usually spent the night, using the couch, sleeping bags, or the spare bedroom. Unless they just passed out on the floor.

“Of course they are. It’s tradition.”

“Geez. You guys need to get laid already. Tell them I said hi. I gotta go. Dre and I have an end of semester party to crash. Love you, bye!”

“Hey wait!” I said, but he was already gone.

Love you, too.

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Continuing with “The Hippie Whisperer” – Carl is feeling left out, and old…

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“Yeah, I’m here.” Just feeling a little left out, is all. “So tell me about the exams. Did you ace them all?”

“Of course, I did. I’m looking forward to the core courses. The pre-req stuff was boring.” Spoken as only someone with a high I.Q. could.

“Oh good. My ears won’t have to listen to your whining anymore about being under-challenged.”

“You’re my dad. It’s your job to listen to me complain.”

“That’s what you think.”

“I have you wrapped around my finger and you know it.”

“Derp!”

“Please, Dad. You’re too old to quote South Park.”

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Continuing with “The Hippie Whisperer” – Carl wants to pick up his son at the airport, but Chester’s boyfriend’s mom will do that instead…

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“Oh. Okay.” I [Carl] tried not to let disappointment overwhelm me.

Dre was Chester’s boyfriend. They were both sophomores in college. Turned out, Dre lived an hour away from our house. I actually liked this one. He had a brain and wasn’t too flashy a dresser. The sight of rhinestones and fuchsia tended to give me palpitations, and I had already experienced that with a previous boyfriend. Thankfully, Dre leaned toward more sober attire, if you didn’t count the eyeliner and multiple piercings on his ear lobes. I was very grateful.

“Dad? Still there?”

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