Welcome back to Rainbow Snippets!!
(Today is release day, so if you’re interested, check out “For the Love of Muscles“, which is now available at JMS Books!!!)
I hope you’re enjoying your weekend, so far. I am posting five weeks worth of snippets below–yes, five–since I will be out of the country from September 14th until October 6th with no access to FB. Hubby and I are going to EUROPE for our 20th anniversary, his 60th birthday, my birthday, etc., etc.. – we are soooo excited!!!
Anywho, I hope you enjoy the snippets below, and I will get back to you all in October. Thank you for indulging me. 🙂
Continuing with “The Hippie Whisperer“, Carl does some soul-searching, and Chester comes clean.
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Snippet 9/8 to 9/9
It was only eight o’clock in the evening, but I was suddenly tired. I put away the unopened beer and emptied the rest of mine down the sink. After turning off all the lights downstairs, I headed up to my room to get ready for bed. I would probably work on the unfinished crossword puzzle on the bedside table, or read something. I didn’t know. I was out of sorts.
The past twenty-four hours had been a bit of a mind fuck. My friends and my own kid had more going on in their lives than I did. And the reality of their happiness floored me. I brushed my teeth and washed up a little at the sink. Before I turned off the light, I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror.
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Snippet 9/15 to 9/16
I’d never given two ticks about the way I looked, or whether or not I had too many wrinkles. People could take me as I was, that’s how I saw it. Now, I took it all in. And if I was truthful, maybe I did need a haircut. Hell, it would be so much easier to get ready in the morning with less hair, and I was losing it, anyway. It just irked me that someone ten years my junior had to jolt me into realizing it. Truthfully, though, Ben’s self-awareness and calm in the face of my anger had me feeling like the young one, floundering for purchase.
But, so what if I cut my hair? What would that change? I’d still have the same question as before. What do I do now that Chester had a life of his own?
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Snippet 9/22 to 9/23
I heard the front door open while I sat on the couch on Sunday afternoon, watching vintage Star Trek. Captain Kirk was about to figure out the trouble with tribbles, but I was no closer to figuring myself out than I was the night before.
Chester came in and sat next to me on the couch. “Hey, Dad.”
“Chester.” I kept my eyes on the show. I hadn’t forgiven him yet for last night’s stunt.
“Look, Dad, I spoke to Ben last night and—”
“Oh, I can’t wait to hear this.” I muted the television and gave Chester my full attention.
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Snippet 9/29 to 9/30
“I was going to apologize, anyway,” he started to say.
“Big of you,” I interrupted.
“But Ben really lit into me and Dre about what we did, and… We had no—I had no idea it would make you feel bad or embarrass you like that. I guess we just didn’t think, and I’m so, so sorry.”
I stared at him for a minute while he squirmed like he used to when he was six years old and waiting for punishment.
“Why’d you do it, Chester?”
“Dad, I love you, but it’s like you can’t let go. And I feel guilty about being with Dre and being happy while you’re…stagnating. I was trying, in an inept way, yes, to show you that I want you to have a life of your own, and I’m okay with that. You need to do this. I can’t be your life anymore. It’s not fair to me or yourself. You have so much to offer if you’d just give yourself a chance.”
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Snippet 10/6 to 10/7
“Is that how you see me? Have I been smothering you?” God, I was using my son as a crutch to cover my own cowardice.
“I wouldn’t say smothering, but I can hear the fear in your voice, the desperation when we talk on the phone. Dad, you’re not losing me. We’re just changing the nature of our relationship. I’ve started my journey into something new, and I want you to do the same, too. Please? For me?” The tears in those baby blue eyes that used to beg me for candy at the grocery store were working their magic once again.
I pulled him into my arms, squeezed him tight, then let go. Wiping away the tears on my own face I simply said, “I’ll try, son. I’ll try.”
“That’s all I can ask.”
We settled in beside each other and I un-muted the TV to watch the rest of the Star Trek episode. My thoughts wandered, though. How the hell I was supposed to start this journey, I hadn’t a clue.
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